Babysitting with Iroh
by Here Comes The Moon's Violin
Summary: Iroh has agrred to babysit Zuko and. . . gasp! Azula! Total chaos. Utterly funny chaos. Rated K for mention of drug use not that much, though .


**This idea popped into my head yesterday while I was babysitting my sister. Well, this is a story about Iroh if he was babysitting Azula and Zuko when they were kids.**

**Ages:**

**Azula:8 ½**

**Zuko:9 ½**

**Iroh:whatever age he is on the show.**

**If it sucks, don't kill me, okay? I tried so hard. Wait, that's a song, huh? I like that song. Heh. I'm so silly.**

**Disclaimer: I only own the clothes on my back. . .And my shoes.**

* * *

"Iroh, can you babysit the kids for me", Princess Ursa requested. "I have to go to a meeting with Ozai at the govenor's mansion. Ozai's already there. It'll only be until ten o'clock or so."

"I'll be more than honoured, Ursa. I'm just a little concerned about. . ." Iroh's voice trailed off as he glanced at Azula. The eight and a half year old was playing with a doll her mother had bought her a few days ago. She did not seem to be up to no good, but who knew? Maybe she was performing a voodoo spell on someone. Ursa noticed his doubt.

"It's okay, she's fine right now. Don't worry about a thing. Just make sure they go to bed by 9:30. And make sure they brush their teeth and eat dinner." Ursa walked to the door. Before opnenig it, she turned to Iroh. "And make sure Azula does not have access to any knives, forks, spoons-"

"Spoons", Iroh repeated out of disbleief.

"Spoons, swords, keys, basically anything that is capable of becoming a weapon." She opened the door. "Bye Zuko, bye Azula! Be good", she hollered.

"Bye, mom", Zuko yelled.

"Go die, mom", Azula shouted. Ursa was unfazed by the death threat. One gets used to it after five years.

"Okay, I'll see you later, Iroh."

"Bye." As Ursa walked outside, she whispered something to herself.

"When I get home, this house better not be burned to the ground." Iroh closed the door and looked at his niece and nephew with an optimistic grin on his face. Zuko smiled up at him. Azula glared at him. She walked back to her place playing with dolls. Iroh looked away for a second. When he turned back to Azula she had set her doll on fire. Azula then started to maniacally laugh at her doll's torture. Iroh quickly grabbed the doll and put the fire out.

"Why did you do that", Azula asked, anger in her tone.

"Because", Iroh began, "in this house, we do not encourage pyromania." Azula just rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"AZULA!!" Iroh turned to the direction the bloodcurdling scream came from. _Ugh, what now_, Iroh thought. Zuko came into the room, soaking wet. Azula stifled a laugh. His eyes had a thirst for revenge.

"What", Azula said, nonchalantly.

"What do you mean 'what'?! Look at me!"

Azula looked up at her soaked brother. "Did you have another accident, Zuko?" She had a mocking smirk on her face.

"No! I did not! I went into your room to get-"

"What the heck were you doing in my room?!"

"I went to get my knife that you stole from me-"

"I don't have it."

"Yes, you do. I know you do."

"Stop being paranoid, Zuzu. It's not my fault you can't keep up with your crap."

"It's not crap! And mom said no more booby traps, Azula!"

"Well, you shouldn't have been in my room, water boy. Then you wouldn't have gotten soaked." Zuko was about to attack Azula, but Iroh grabbed the back of his shirt.

"Why don't we eat dinner now." As Azula and Zuko walked into the dining room, Iroh looked at the clock that sat on a nearby table. It read only 8:47. Iroh sighed in exasperation. "I hope all those years in the military will come in handy", he muttered to himself as he trudged into the kitchen to prepare dinner.

* * *

"Okay, what would you like for dinner, you two?"

"Curry", Zuko anwsered.

"Noodles", Azula chimed. They then glared at each other.

"Curry", Zuko repeated.

"Noodles", Azula said.

"Curry!"

"Noodles!" As their voices grew louder, Iroh decided to intervene.

"How about if we had chickenpork stew?" Azula and Zuko reluctantly relented. As they ate their dinner(with chopsticks, much to Azula's displeasure), Zuko pondered on how he would act out his revenge. _I could push her into the pond. . .but she might try to drown me. . .Oh, I know! I can cut all her hair off while she's sleeping, but she might try to slit my throat. . ._

"Zuko, why don' you slurp your food louder? I can still hear myself think", Azula barked.

"Wow, you can think? How impressive", Zuko sarcastically exclaimed. Azula frowned.

Yes, I can think. That's more than what you can do."

"I bet you can do a lot of things, you bit-"

"That is enough!" Azula and Zuko were startled by their uncle's sudden outburst. Iroh literally had steam coming out of his ears. He was completely outraged. "I am exhausted of you two bickering like little children! You two need to act your own age! You are extremely immature!" Zuko and Azula look at each other, puzzled.

"Umm, uncle. . .", Zuko started.

"We _are _children, if you haven't noticed", Azula harshly pointed out. Iroh then realized his contradiction, and blushed scarlett red.

"Oh. . .Uh. . ." He was at a loss of words. Quckly changing the subject, he took both of their hands. "Okay, let's get you two ready for bed."

* * *

"Do you think we get on uncle's nerves", Zuko asked as they were brushing their teeth.

"You get on everyone's nerves", Azula said after she spit out. Zuko ignored this.

"I mean how much we fight with each other. Doesn't it get kinda old after a while?" Zuko gurgled his mouth wash and spit into the marble sink.

". . .I suppose, I mean, I can't insult you 24/7. Frankly, it tires me out."

"So. . .You want to give getting along a shot?" Zuko had an uncertain expression o his face.

"That would mean I can't torture, insult, mock, jeer, or harm you in any way whatsoever?"

"Yeah."

"Then I back out." Azula was about to leave the room, but Zuko grabbed her arm.

"C'mon, please? At least just do it for the remaining time uncle is babysitting us. Please? We can even just go to sleep right now, but that doesn't mean you can put me to sleep." His eyes were pleading.

"Will you do my chores for three months", Azula asked.

Zuko's face fell. He should've known she would say something like that. He thought for a moment, then with an exaggerated sigh, he gave up. "Okay, I'll do your chores for four months."

"Zuzu, I only said three months, but four is fine by me." Azula walked off with a satisfied smirk on her face. Zuko stood there dumbfounded, then realized his slip of his tongue. He then proccede to slap his forehead.

* * *

In the family living room, Iroh was studyiing some old scrolls he found in the office. As he read them, he noticed that the air was peaceful and tranquil. There wasn't any noise that he could hear, and tthe enviroment was extremely calming. Some was gravely wrong. Iroh put down the scrolls and ran through the house to see what had happened to the children. When he got to Azula's room, she was in her bed, soundlessly asleep. He was puzzled. Weren't Zuko and Azula were at each other's throats five minutes ago. . .He forgot about Zuko. Azula could have already hidden his body somewhere. When he got to his nephew's room, he saw that he too was peacefully asleep. Iroh was confused, but truthfully he didn't care why they weren't trying to kill each other at this very moment. He sighed and went back to the living room and resumed reading the scroll. An hour or so later, Princess Ursa(minus Ozai) walked through the door.

"Hello, Iroh. Were they too much trouble for you?" She then dropped her voice to a whisper. "Did Azula find Ozai's stash again? I tried to hide it again, but the smell is too strong, and-"

"No, they were completely well behaved." Ursa gave him a look that said _no really, how were they._ "Well, Zuko behaved, somewhat." Ursa nodded in understanding.

"Did Azula threaten to kill you or tried to kill you? Because that happened with the last babysitter we had and they sue-"

"No, she was actually quite civilized. . .Well, she didn't try to kill us, so that's good, too." Ursa smiled.

"Well, I'm glad it went somewhat well. Would it be okay if you babysat again next week?"

"I'd be more than happy to." As they said their goodbyes, Azula heard Iroh walk out of the house. As soon as he closed the door, she threw her shoe at Zuko's head.

"Ow! What the heck was that for?!"

"You said as long as Iroh was babysitting us, we would have to be nice to each other. But, as you can see. . ." She pointed to the window that Iroh was walking past. He smiled and waved at the children. Zuko, horror-stricken, started to sob. He then jumped at the window.

"No! Take me with you", he screamed as Azula started to drag him away from the window. She maniacally laughed as she tied him up. Ursa heard Zuko's desperate cry for help and ran to the children's room. When se opened the door, she saw Azula standing over a tied up Zuko with a whip. Both children looked at her. Ursa then closed the door. Ursa walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. She reminisced to when Azula was a baby. She seemed so harmless. Boy, was she wrong. Sighing and putting her head in her hands she whispered to herself, "That is the last time I do crack while I'm preganant."

* * *

**Hey, guys. I finally got this story up. I've been workin on it for a while. And haven't you wondered how Azua got so screwd up? Crack is my theory. I dedicate this story to my cousin, Brittany, who died while giving birth to her second child. She was a kind and funny person,a dn she inspied me to write this. It took me a long time because I've been mourning over the loss of her. I'm not going to be on for a while because I'm still kind of depressed. Please pray for her and her family, it has been really hard on all of us, especially her father. This story is also dedicated to everyone who has been reading Smoldering Coals or any of my other works. So, yeah, I'm not going to be on here for a while, so if you're waiting for an update on a story or somethin', sorry. Please review, and no flames. Thank you.**


End file.
